Transition!

Dr A R Bernard says this Change is the only constant in life. Given a choice, all of us don't like to change. There is this element of uncertainty. Fear of not knowing what to expect ahead.

Transition refers to significant change in various aspects, phases of life. It ranges from students changing schools when they are young, from teenage maturation to adulthood, from single to attached, attached to married, married to parenthood, change of job, death of a close one and the list goes on.

When change is necessary, not to change is destructive. Transitions affected us emotionally, mentally, physically. If not handle well, one could end up falling into depression and other problems relating.
Hence I would like to share in this writeup on how are we able to handle any sort of transition well.

4 Keys to handling Transition:
1) Early preparation and planning
There's a saying fail to plan, plan to fail. Although not all transition come as expected. Many of us often have this mentally of when it comes, it comes. However a lot of times, most of the things that happened we can actually predict in advance but it's just that we don't want to do anything about it due to laziness or hoping that it will not happen. Often we wait until it happens or when things are announced before we start panicking and try to do some quick remedy of the situation. As a result it creates unneccesary emotional stresses and it takes more effort to salvage that when it was done much earlier. Some of you may ask, what's the use of planning early if it turns out different from what you expect? We can draw lessons from the corporate world, successful companies do wise budgeting to determine how much they will be spending in the next 3 quarters. Most company wind down even they might be profitable because of lack of cashflow to sustain the day to day running of the business. Similarly for individuals, one of thetop stresses is due to lack of proper planning in their finances and as a result causing one to breakdown and for some even resort to illegal means. I believe financial wisdom is essential and should be taught at the very early stage of life.

2) Isolate the problem
If you have watch the show Chicken little, you would have seen from the characters how people can react the moment something wrong has happen. When a problem or change sets in, it doesn't mean everything is falling apart. Take for an example in Mathematics, before Algebra came in, we are so use to numbers, addition, subtractions, division and multiplication. One morning in school, the teacher introduce this equation 3X + 4 = 19. Most of the students would start to worry is thing going to change all the things that they've learnt so far? The only change to this is actually 'X'. To solve this equation as we'll know is to put 3X to one side by subtracting 4 both sides to give us 3x = 19 - 4 to give us 3x = 15 and then divide 3 to both side to give us x = 5. Does the rest of the things change when X is introduce? Answer is no. Just is how we apply this to life. When a change comes about, do not let it affect all aspects of your life. Most of the times, our other aspects remains constant. Learn to deal with the issue independently.

3) Seek help from someone who has gone through similar situations.
Know that you are not the first nor the last who is going through your situation. Most of the time, you'll be able to find someone around you who has gone through the situation. Ask for advises, talk to someone you can trust or someone who has gone through your situation. Stresses can be reduced greatly when you have a channel to share how you feel. You'll be surprise by some of the advices you can get by just a 5-10 mins chat with another person. Learn from their experience and how you can handle the transition. Know that you are not alone and there is always a solution to any problem in life. If you really can't find anyone to share your problems with, as mentioned in the previous writeup, there are plenty of sources we can get from in today's world. Take some time to read books that pertain to the things you need help in. Eg Job transitions, preparing for wedding, how to be a good parents or any other self-help books which you can find in the bookstores or library.

4) Pray about it!
Praying is not showing that you are helpless. Praying is also not the last resort. In Matt 7:7 it says, Ask and it will be given, Seek and you'll find and knock and it shall be given to you. Many Christians don't pray is because they feel, what's the point of praying. It's not going to happen anyway. Prayer is not a magic trick. It won't happen immediately the moment after you pray. What it does is it will change your beliefs system. Our mind is like a giant magnet. What is in the core of it will attract similar thing. When you pray, you are confessing just like keying in information to your mind that yes it is possible to get out of the situation you are in. It will propell you to take actions which will change the results you desire. More importantly, it gives the peace of mind in believing that someone of a higher being is taking care of everything.

If you are going through periods of transition right now. Do try the 4 things i mentioned above. I believe if you do these things consistently to any change, you will find yourself handling change better and see positive results in time to come!

Rgds
Alvin