Dr A R Bernard says this Change is the only constant in life. Given a choice, all of us don't like to change. There is this element of uncertainty. Fear of not knowing what to expect ahead.
Transition refers to significant change in various aspects, phases of life. It ranges from students changing schools when they are young, from teenage maturation to adulthood, from single to attached, attached to married, married to parenthood, change of job, death of a close one and the list goes on.
When change is necessary, not to change is destructive. Transitions affected us emotionally, mentally, physically. If not handle well, one could end up falling into depression and other problems relating.
Hence I would like to share in this writeup on how are we able to handle any sort of transition well.
4 Keys to handling Transition:
1) Early preparation and planning
There's a saying fail to plan, plan to fail. Although not all transition come as expected. Many of us often have this mentally of when it comes, it comes. However a lot of times, most of the things that happened we can actually predict in advance but it's just that we don't want to do anything about it due to laziness or hoping that it will not happen. Often we wait until it happens or when things are announced before we start panicking and try to do some quick remedy of the situation. As a result it creates unneccesary emotional stresses and it takes more effort to salvage that when it was done much earlier. Some of you may ask, what's the use of planning early if it turns out different from what you expect? We can draw lessons from the corporate world, successful companies do wise budgeting to determine how much they will be spending in the next 3 quarters. Most company wind down even they might be profitable because of lack of cashflow to sustain the day to day running of the business. Similarly for individuals, one of thetop stresses is due to lack of proper planning in their finances and as a result causing one to breakdown and for some even resort to illegal means. I believe financial wisdom is essential and should be taught at the very early stage of life.
2) Isolate the problem
If you have watch the show Chicken little, you would have seen from the characters how people can react the moment something wrong has happen. When a problem or change sets in, it doesn't mean everything is falling apart. Take for an example in Mathematics, before Algebra came in, we are so use to numbers, addition, subtractions, division and multiplication. One morning in school, the teacher introduce this equation 3X + 4 = 19. Most of the students would start to worry is thing going to change all the things that they've learnt so far? The only change to this is actually 'X'. To solve this equation as we'll know is to put 3X to one side by subtracting 4 both sides to give us 3x = 19 - 4 to give us 3x = 15 and then divide 3 to both side to give us x = 5. Does the rest of the things change when X is introduce? Answer is no. Just is how we apply this to life. When a change comes about, do not let it affect all aspects of your life. Most of the times, our other aspects remains constant. Learn to deal with the issue independently.
3) Seek help from someone who has gone through similar situations.
Know that you are not the first nor the last who is going through your situation. Most of the time, you'll be able to find someone around you who has gone through the situation. Ask for advises, talk to someone you can trust or someone who has gone through your situation. Stresses can be reduced greatly when you have a channel to share how you feel. You'll be surprise by some of the advices you can get by just a 5-10 mins chat with another person. Learn from their experience and how you can handle the transition. Know that you are not alone and there is always a solution to any problem in life. If you really can't find anyone to share your problems with, as mentioned in the previous writeup, there are plenty of sources we can get from in today's world. Take some time to read books that pertain to the things you need help in. Eg Job transitions, preparing for wedding, how to be a good parents or any other self-help books which you can find in the bookstores or library.
4) Pray about it!
Praying is not showing that you are helpless. Praying is also not the last resort. In Matt 7:7 it says, Ask and it will be given, Seek and you'll find and knock and it shall be given to you. Many Christians don't pray is because they feel, what's the point of praying. It's not going to happen anyway. Prayer is not a magic trick. It won't happen immediately the moment after you pray. What it does is it will change your beliefs system. Our mind is like a giant magnet. What is in the core of it will attract similar thing. When you pray, you are confessing just like keying in information to your mind that yes it is possible to get out of the situation you are in. It will propell you to take actions which will change the results you desire. More importantly, it gives the peace of mind in believing that someone of a higher being is taking care of everything.
If you are going through periods of transition right now. Do try the 4 things i mentioned above. I believe if you do these things consistently to any change, you will find yourself handling change better and see positive results in time to come!
Rgds
Alvin
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Winning In Life
All of us have dreams in life. To become someone successful and achieve many goals in our life. We can still remember we were young, one of the essays that our teachers would always ask us to write about is on this topic call ambition. Some of us wanted to be a teacher, doctor, pilot, scientist, businessman and other professionals. There seemed to be no limit to what one can do when we are young. However as time goes by, accumulated by disappointments and critism by the people and environment we live in, many of us succumb to being someone mediocre.
One of the challenges i faced leading adults is to get them to believe that they can still achieve what they want even when they reach their late 20s and 30s. The truth is when you ask almost majority of them whether they like their jobs, many would shake their heads and have this surprising look on their facing seeming to say, you mean we are suppose to like what we are doing? As you began to talk to them, many realise something went wrong in the midst of pursuing their dreams. Some took on jobs they don't really like because of what it was available and what the short term reward gives to them. Many procrastinate and stuck in their comfort level until something or someone had to force them to leave what they have been doing for years.
Every year in our church we are taught and given this thing call the Goal setting Card. I'm going to share with you what is all about and I've added in a little more insight and practical ways about how we can go about doing this.
I believed that if all of us take the effort and time to do up this card. You'll discover more about yourself and achieve greater things in this lifetime.
What does this card comprises of for those who are outside of CHC?
You can download the card at the below website
http://www.chc.org.sg/english/files/Goals2008.pdf
Print out the card and take a pen as we go through this practically
It's given by this Acronym SMARTER
S - stands for Specific.
Survey done in 1953 in Yale University shows that out of the cohort of 500 students. Only 3% of the students had clear written down Goals. Years later, another survey was done to the same group of students on their income and results shows that the 3% combine income of those who had written down goals is 3 times more than the 97% added together!
Question is do you have something that is Specific about what you really want to achieve?
Many of us are stuck at this first point. There are hundred and one things in life that are good. Which is the one best for you?
Some good question to ask.
What is of interest to you? It could be your hobby. Thing that will catch your attention when you read the newspaper. Something you think you'll do even you are not paid to do.
Is it something that will excite you that will cause you waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it?
This first point is so important that it's worth taking 1/2 to an hour to think through this. (That's the concentration span of most individuals.) Alternative if you really can't think of anything, take a pen and a blank piece of paper to scribble as much things in your mind for 2 mins. Look through the list. Is that anything, one or two from the list that excites you?
Don't set a goal that is so easily achievable and post no challenge to you.
Great! Now you have done the first step. Categorize the things you have written into your goal card and let's move on.
Next M - stands for Measurable Goals.
To eat a big elephant you can either have a big mouth. Just talking about it but never do anything or you can cut the elephant into smaller pieces which is digestible. We need to give our goals a unit of measurement just as kilograms and grams for weight and meters and centimeters for length. What is the unit for your goals and dreams? We all need something that is visual, something we can track on, provide constant evaluation and feedbacks.
A - Stands for action plans. (Strategies to achieve the goals)
Every idea needs the hands and legs to move. Similarly for yours. How do we go about achieving what we want to do? This part is again not easy for many of us. But not easy doesn't mean you don't do! One of my favourite speaker Dr A R Bernard says this whatever things you want to be good in, you gotta take time to study. In this generation, we are blessed with technologies that allow us to find out almost anything from A-Z at the click of the button. Go to libraries, book stores and or read newspapers on articles anything that associate with your goal! Model successful people who have achieved what you desire to do. Learn from their strategies through the books that they have written or written about them.
R - Realistic. Is your goals realistic? You can afford to stretched your beliefs system a little bigger than yourselves. Of course not beyond the natural laws like the law of gravity by wanting to be a super hero if you know what i mean. Gauge the risk level of doing the task.
T - Time. How long you want to achieve your goals? Use this together with measurable portion. Break up into years, months, weeks or days if necessary.
E - Stands for Expectation Management.
What if things doesn't turn out well immediately when you started off doing? You plan to go to gym on Mon, Wed, Fri and Monday you had a very late meeting? Don't give the excuse of since you missed Monday, might as well miss wed and Fri. The moment you think about it, it'll happen! Nobody says if you don't bathe or eat a day, you'll stop eating the rest of your lives. Learn to be flexible and manage your emotions and expectation level well.
Last but not least,
R - Revelation (This part is for Christian mainly). What has God spoken to you? Is your goals in line with your Christian value system? How can you draw parallel between the goals that you set with the stories in the bible? Use a verse or a promise in the bible to support your vision.
Make it a point that you take a look at the goal card every one or two days. If need be, do slight adjustments. I believed that you'll be able to see results in a short period of time!
Rgds
Alvin
One of the challenges i faced leading adults is to get them to believe that they can still achieve what they want even when they reach their late 20s and 30s. The truth is when you ask almost majority of them whether they like their jobs, many would shake their heads and have this surprising look on their facing seeming to say, you mean we are suppose to like what we are doing? As you began to talk to them, many realise something went wrong in the midst of pursuing their dreams. Some took on jobs they don't really like because of what it was available and what the short term reward gives to them. Many procrastinate and stuck in their comfort level until something or someone had to force them to leave what they have been doing for years.
Every year in our church we are taught and given this thing call the Goal setting Card. I'm going to share with you what is all about and I've added in a little more insight and practical ways about how we can go about doing this.
I believed that if all of us take the effort and time to do up this card. You'll discover more about yourself and achieve greater things in this lifetime.
What does this card comprises of for those who are outside of CHC?
You can download the card at the below website
http://www.chc.org.sg/english/files/Goals2008.pdf
Print out the card and take a pen as we go through this practically
It's given by this Acronym SMARTER
S - stands for Specific.
Survey done in 1953 in Yale University shows that out of the cohort of 500 students. Only 3% of the students had clear written down Goals. Years later, another survey was done to the same group of students on their income and results shows that the 3% combine income of those who had written down goals is 3 times more than the 97% added together!
Question is do you have something that is Specific about what you really want to achieve?
Many of us are stuck at this first point. There are hundred and one things in life that are good. Which is the one best for you?
Some good question to ask.
What is of interest to you? It could be your hobby. Thing that will catch your attention when you read the newspaper. Something you think you'll do even you are not paid to do.
Is it something that will excite you that will cause you waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it?
This first point is so important that it's worth taking 1/2 to an hour to think through this. (That's the concentration span of most individuals.) Alternative if you really can't think of anything, take a pen and a blank piece of paper to scribble as much things in your mind for 2 mins. Look through the list. Is that anything, one or two from the list that excites you?
Don't set a goal that is so easily achievable and post no challenge to you.
Great! Now you have done the first step. Categorize the things you have written into your goal card and let's move on.
Next M - stands for Measurable Goals.
To eat a big elephant you can either have a big mouth. Just talking about it but never do anything or you can cut the elephant into smaller pieces which is digestible. We need to give our goals a unit of measurement just as kilograms and grams for weight and meters and centimeters for length. What is the unit for your goals and dreams? We all need something that is visual, something we can track on, provide constant evaluation and feedbacks.
A - Stands for action plans. (Strategies to achieve the goals)
Every idea needs the hands and legs to move. Similarly for yours. How do we go about achieving what we want to do? This part is again not easy for many of us. But not easy doesn't mean you don't do! One of my favourite speaker Dr A R Bernard says this whatever things you want to be good in, you gotta take time to study. In this generation, we are blessed with technologies that allow us to find out almost anything from A-Z at the click of the button. Go to libraries, book stores and or read newspapers on articles anything that associate with your goal! Model successful people who have achieved what you desire to do. Learn from their strategies through the books that they have written or written about them.
R - Realistic. Is your goals realistic? You can afford to stretched your beliefs system a little bigger than yourselves. Of course not beyond the natural laws like the law of gravity by wanting to be a super hero if you know what i mean. Gauge the risk level of doing the task.
T - Time. How long you want to achieve your goals? Use this together with measurable portion. Break up into years, months, weeks or days if necessary.
E - Stands for Expectation Management.
What if things doesn't turn out well immediately when you started off doing? You plan to go to gym on Mon, Wed, Fri and Monday you had a very late meeting? Don't give the excuse of since you missed Monday, might as well miss wed and Fri. The moment you think about it, it'll happen! Nobody says if you don't bathe or eat a day, you'll stop eating the rest of your lives. Learn to be flexible and manage your emotions and expectation level well.
Last but not least,
R - Revelation (This part is for Christian mainly). What has God spoken to you? Is your goals in line with your Christian value system? How can you draw parallel between the goals that you set with the stories in the bible? Use a verse or a promise in the bible to support your vision.
Make it a point that you take a look at the goal card every one or two days. If need be, do slight adjustments. I believed that you'll be able to see results in a short period of time!
Rgds
Alvin
Matters of the Heart
Hi to everyone who visit this blog,
This may not be the first you have visited nor will it be the last. Every blog i believed is created for a purpose. My intention for this blog is to create a channel where i'm able to record my thoughts process as i go through this lifetime and years down the road I'll remember all the things that I've learnt, situation i've encountered and decisions i've made. And in the midst of it I hope that it'll be of a help to many by inspiring, and changing the way people think when they go through the similar things and situations may it be Spiritual, Relationship with Family and friends, Career, Finances or any other areas.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Alvin and this year I'll be turning 29. I've been a christian for the past 7 years ever since i came to City Harvest Church in 2001, Aug 10. I'm married to a wonderful wife, Andrea for a year now and it has been one of the best decisions I've made.
In ministry, I'm serving in church as a cell group leader for the past 4 years and now taking greater responsibility in being a Senior Zone leader handling mainly adults.
I am working in the telco industry, StarHub Ltd since graduation from SIMU with a bachelor degree in Accounting and Finance.
Other things to mention, in NS, I'm a Company 2IC (2nd In Command) in a defence battallion holding the rank of Lieutanent.
My favourite past time is watching movie, playing snooker/pool, singing and worshipping God.
My favourite Speakers: Pastor Kong Hee, Dr A R Bernard, Dr Phil Pringle, Rev Ulf Ekman.
People i admire (Those who has set their hearts 100% to do what they are passionate in and has create an impact in the community that they are in):
Michael Jordan, Stephen Hendry, Jacky Cheung, Pastor Kong Hee.
Many people have different interpretation of what success is. To some are bringing food everyday on the table just like Stephen Chow in the recent show CJ7. To some are driving fanciful big cars, staying in condominiums, working at the top management of MNCs. So what exactly is the real definition of success? Would you be happy when you are in that position?
Someone once said Happiness is not a goal, it is a state and i fully agree on this. State is something you can change immediately. Happiness is a choice. Statistics shows that 90% of the people are unhappy all the time. Either they are unhappy about their jobs, bosses, relationships, husband and wife, their kids etc and etc.. the list goes on.
The issue lies in the perspective of things. A common analogy is the half filled glass. It can be deemed as half full or half empty or a coin that has 2 sides. When things happen, most of us tends to look at the negative aspect of the thing and judge the situation before even considering the other side and the possibility. The truth is that every problem lies an opportunity, every crisis leads to a greater breakthrough.
Imagine you have to write or tell a story about your life right now. How would your story be one that can captivate the audience? Would a bed of roses story works? Or a life full of crisis? Or one that went through tough challenges and setbacks and ultimately rose up to a place of victory?
Dr Edwin Louise Cole said this Champions are not those who never fails but those who never quits.
Real Success to me is the ability to go through series of setback without losing the passion and enthusiasm about pursuing your dreams in life.
Enjoy your life to the fullest each day!
Rgds
Alvin
This may not be the first you have visited nor will it be the last. Every blog i believed is created for a purpose. My intention for this blog is to create a channel where i'm able to record my thoughts process as i go through this lifetime and years down the road I'll remember all the things that I've learnt, situation i've encountered and decisions i've made. And in the midst of it I hope that it'll be of a help to many by inspiring, and changing the way people think when they go through the similar things and situations may it be Spiritual, Relationship with Family and friends, Career, Finances or any other areas.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Alvin and this year I'll be turning 29. I've been a christian for the past 7 years ever since i came to City Harvest Church in 2001, Aug 10. I'm married to a wonderful wife, Andrea for a year now and it has been one of the best decisions I've made.
In ministry, I'm serving in church as a cell group leader for the past 4 years and now taking greater responsibility in being a Senior Zone leader handling mainly adults.
I am working in the telco industry, StarHub Ltd since graduation from SIMU with a bachelor degree in Accounting and Finance.
Other things to mention, in NS, I'm a Company 2IC (2nd In Command) in a defence battallion holding the rank of Lieutanent.
My favourite past time is watching movie, playing snooker/pool, singing and worshipping God.
My favourite Speakers: Pastor Kong Hee, Dr A R Bernard, Dr Phil Pringle, Rev Ulf Ekman.
People i admire (Those who has set their hearts 100% to do what they are passionate in and has create an impact in the community that they are in):
Michael Jordan, Stephen Hendry, Jacky Cheung, Pastor Kong Hee.
Many people have different interpretation of what success is. To some are bringing food everyday on the table just like Stephen Chow in the recent show CJ7. To some are driving fanciful big cars, staying in condominiums, working at the top management of MNCs. So what exactly is the real definition of success? Would you be happy when you are in that position?
Someone once said Happiness is not a goal, it is a state and i fully agree on this. State is something you can change immediately. Happiness is a choice. Statistics shows that 90% of the people are unhappy all the time. Either they are unhappy about their jobs, bosses, relationships, husband and wife, their kids etc and etc.. the list goes on.
The issue lies in the perspective of things. A common analogy is the half filled glass. It can be deemed as half full or half empty or a coin that has 2 sides. When things happen, most of us tends to look at the negative aspect of the thing and judge the situation before even considering the other side and the possibility. The truth is that every problem lies an opportunity, every crisis leads to a greater breakthrough.
Imagine you have to write or tell a story about your life right now. How would your story be one that can captivate the audience? Would a bed of roses story works? Or a life full of crisis? Or one that went through tough challenges and setbacks and ultimately rose up to a place of victory?
Dr Edwin Louise Cole said this Champions are not those who never fails but those who never quits.
Real Success to me is the ability to go through series of setback without losing the passion and enthusiasm about pursuing your dreams in life.
Enjoy your life to the fullest each day!
Rgds
Alvin
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